Honestly I have gone back and forth so many times trying to decide if I wanted to have another baby. It never seemed like the “right time”. Since Gabbie was born, I’ve spent a total of eight years in school, and the other years trying to figure out my life and my career path. I got married, bought a house and life was going pretty good. We were comfortable, we had a routine. Did I really want to bring a baby into the mix now?
I suppose I wasn’t fully convinced either way if I wanted another baby or not. I figured, I was happy with or without. So that’s when Junior and I decided I would stop taking my birth control pills and see what happened! I did end up getting pregnant. And sadly, we lost our baby. That experience made me realize just how much I did actually want another child.
When we found out we were pregnant again, we were so excited! I was 100% convinced we were having a girl. I have friends who have boys, and my sister has a boy, and I just knew I wasn’t cut out for having them. They’re so rowdy and rambunctious and I just wanted another sweet girl, another “mini-me” that I could dress up and do her hair. Whenever someone asked me if I wanted a girl or a boy, I would laugh and tell them, “Oh I know it’s a girl. We’re just waiting for the doctor to confirm it.”
So when our 20 week ultrasound appointment came around, I was so anxious to receive that confirmation. However, we looked away while the tech was checking the sex of the baby because we were having a small gender reveal party that following weekend. Just family and a couple close friends. She put the ultrasound pictures in an envelope that I later gave to my mom for the reveal.
Saturday came and I was beyond excited. Friends and family arrived. We all visited and had snacks and my mom filled a giant black balloon with what I was sure would be pink confetti. We couldn’t wait any longer so we declared it was time for the reveal. We stood in the middle of our pink and blue decorated dining room, in front of our family and friends, Gabbie held a pin and counted to three… 1… 2… 3… POP!
Blue confetti fell out. “Oh my gosh…” was about all I could say as I stood there, literally in shock. I had done such a good job of convincing myself that I was having a baby girl, that when the blue confetti flew out, I had no reaction and I just stood there in the middle of our dining room for what felt like a lifetime. When I watched the video of the balloon pop later on, all I could think is that I can never let my son watch this video! He’ll think he was unwanted! LOL…
After the initial shock went away and the idea of having a little baby boy with chubby cheeks and curly hair settled in, all I could feel is love and genuine excitement to meet this little person. After all, we can always try for a girl next time ð
